


Brought to You by Professor Smut (The Real Person Fiction Remix)

by afrocurl



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Epistolary, M/M, Metafiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:25:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4562817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fangirls gossip.</p><p>Fangirls squee.</p><p>Fangirls don't take being left in the dark well.</p><p>Too bad Charles sort of has to do the last one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brought to You by Professor Smut (The Real Person Fiction Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sophia_Bee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Bee/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Brought to You by Professor Smut](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511998) by [Sophia_Bee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Bee/pseuds/Sophia_Bee). 



> Sophia_Bee - I hope you enjoy this silly look into your fic that always makes me smile.

**Professor Smut**  
to **J. S.** , **Resh** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** I’ve got a fan  
**Date:** Sat, Oct. 25, 2014 10:03 AM

So I woke up this morning to ten comments from a new fan, **Bendover Bent** who was a little too effusive in their love for me. 

Am I special today?

*

 **Resh**  
to **Professor Smut** , **J. S.** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** I’ve got a fan  
**Date:** Sat, Oct 25, 2014 10:28 AM

Smutty,

You’re the special one today. I’ve got nothing from AO3 besides notifs for WIPs I’m following and my daily kudos ego-crusher.

How effusive are we talking, btw?

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Resh** , **Alice B.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** I’ve got a fan  
**Date:** Sat, Oct. 25, 2014 10:33 AM

I’m talking this fan went through my entire **Bent** writings overnight. All of them.

Signed all of the comments after the first, Ben. Have I found a brother?

*

 **Resh**  
to **Professor Smut** , **J. S.** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** I’ve got a fan  
**Date:** Sat, Oct 25, 2014 10:51 AM

I think you have.

*squee*

But, let’s not talk about you anymore, Smutty. EL and SC are doing a Con in NYC early next month. 

New photos!

-

 **Professor Smut**  
to **J. S.** , **Resh** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** CON!  
**Date:** Sat, Nov. 9, 2014 07:01 AM

Con’s today. I can’t wait for the panel. 

Planning on queueing for a question.

Plus, I get to met Ben later. Wish me luck?

*

 **Alice B.**  
to **Professor Smut.** , **J. S.** , **Resh**  
**Subject:** CON!  
**Date:** Sun, Nov. 10, 2014 12:24 PM

YOU HEARD EL’S ANSWER TO THE QUESTION ABOUT FIC, RIGHT?

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, HAVE YOU SEEN THE PHOTOS OF EL AND A **GUY**?

*

 **Resh**  
to **Alice B.** , **Professor Smut.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** CON!  
**Date:** Sun, Nov. 10, 2014 12:25 PM

YES, HAVE YOU SEEN THE HOT TWINKY BOY WHO EL HAD ON HIS ARM? I WOULD CLIMB BOTH OF THEM LIKE TREES. 

(I have no shame, but you already knew that.)

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Resh** , **Alice B.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** CON!  
**Date:** Sun, Nov. 10, 2014 2:15 PM

That question was me, actually. So I’m so glad to see that EL gets fans and fandom so nicely. We know not all actors take the idea of fandom to heart.

I have seen the photos. But can’t we give EL some privacy? I mean, he outed himself in a very public way. Just assure me that tumblr isn’t overrun with prompts that make me miss the kmeme.

I also didn’t realize all of you were that into RPS.

*

 **J. S.**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Resh** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** CON!  
**Date:** Sun, Nov. 10, 2014 5:37 PM

OH GOOD JOB SMUTTY! FANDOM LOVES YOU AND EL RIGHT NOW!

Also, I wouldn’t say we’re all into RPS in the technical side (at least I’m not), but you can’t deny that EL and his twinky boy are ADORABLE.

Prompts are around, but they’re mostly just in tags. I suppose if you don’t want to see the photos fifteen times in a row, you’ll have to unfollow the EL tag or use XKit for a long while.

-

 **J. S.**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Resh** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** HE IS LEAVING!  
**Date:** Sun, Dec. 14, 2014 3:28 PM

According to someone somewhere on tumblr EL hasn’t reported to set yet. And he may not because of the twink.

BENTSON WILL BE NO MORE IF EL DOESN’T GO BACK TO LONDON!

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **J. S.** , **Resh** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** HE IS LEAVING!  
**Date:** Sun, Dec. 14, 2014 3:29 PM

Has fandom already heard? I’m not for the show ending, but can’t we wish EL well with his man?

*

 **Resh**  
to **Professor Smut** , **J. S.** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** HE IS LEAVING!  
**Date:** Sun, Dec. 14, 2014 3:30 PM

NO NO NO SMUTTY! WE CANNOT ALLOW THEM THAT. BECAUSE IT MEANS WE’RE DENIED BENTSON BEING CANON.

YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEM, WHY AREN’T YOU MORE UPSET?

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Resh** , **J. S.** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** HE IS LEAVING!  
**Date:** Sun, Dec. 14, 2014 3:31 PM

I can be calm because not everything is about _Bent_.

*

 **Alice B.**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Resh** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** HE IS LEAVING!  
**Date:** Sun, Dec. 14, 2014 3:32 PM

A SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR WRITING SMUTTY. DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS!

WE NEED TO RALLY AROUND EACH OTHER. PRAYER CIRCLE FOR BENT SERIES SIX!

-

 **Alice B.**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Resh** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** SALVATION  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 12:02 AM

EL AND THE TWINK ARE IN LONDON. WE HAVE A SERIES SIX!

*

 **Resh**  
to **Alice B.** , **Professor Smut** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** SALVATION  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 05:22 AM

And at what point is the Twink going to end up as a character in Series Six?

I’ve already read five fic prompts where someone wants him to enter the show.

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Resh** , **Alice B.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** SALVATION  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 09:17 AM  
Must fandom?

*

 **Resh**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Alice B.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** SALVATION  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 10:05 AM

YES THEY MUST! YOU KNOW THE RULES OF FANDOM BETTER THAN MOST SMUTTY.

(Sorry, the caps was on but I refuse to not shout the rules because we all know them. This ain’t our first rodeo.)

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Resh** , **Alice B.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** SALVATION  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 10:07 AM

But must we all live at that base level?

(I think I know the answer, but humor me anyway.)

-

 **Charles Xavier**  
to **Erik Lehnsherr**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 11:01 AM

The fangirls are telling me that I’ll be written into fic in some way - you know not as me but just as the twink you’re dating.

I HATE MY LIFE!

*

 **Erik Lehnsherr**  
to **Charles Xavier**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Jan. 19, 2015 1:18 PM

I just had to share this email with Emma and she laughed. You’re the one who knows fandom. Are you shocked this happened?

Don’t answer that. You know the answer. 

(But I won’t say no if you write something for us. ;) )

-

 **Resh**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Alice B.** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 2, 2015 11:45 PM

DID YOU ALL SEE THAT INTERVIEW WITH EL AND HIS TWINK? SAID TWINK IS A FANFIC WRITER. WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?

HAVE WE ALL BEEN READING HIS STUFF AND GIVING HIM IDEAS FOR THEIR LOVE LIFE?

*

 **Alice B.**  
to **Resh** , **Professor Smut** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 2, 2015 11:48 PM

THERE AREN’T TOO MANY MEN IN FANDOM. SMUTTY, IS IT YOU?

IS IT YOU? 

IS?

IT?

YOU?

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Alice B.** , **Resh** , **J. S.**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 06:51 AM

Aren’t there more men than just me in fandom? 

But, honestly...

Yes, I’m Erik’s boyfriend and YOU ARE ALL SWORN TO SECRECY. I WILL NOT HAVE MORE OF MY REAL LIFE AND FANDOM COLLIDE.

Though, I’m totally happy about how I met, Erik, if you didn’t know.

*

 **J. S.**  
to **Professor Smut** , **Alice B.** , **Resh**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 08:11 AM

SMUTTY WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU KEEP THAT SO LONG?

TELL US MORE!!!

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **J. S.** , **Alice B.** , **Resh**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 09:18 AM

Do you think I’d have wanted to say anything more about it when you were all flailing about EL’s twink in those photos? 

DO YOU?

(Don’t answer that.)

Let’s forget this all and let me go back to writing BentSon and getting time with my boyfriend.

*

 **Resh**  
to **Professor Smut** , **J. S.** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 10:36 AM

SMUTTY, YOU HAVE BEEN BOTH THE YOKO ONO AND PAUL MCCARTNEY OF FANDOM. YOU HAVE TO GIVE US SOMETHING. WE CAN’T REALLY TRUST YOU RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU GIVE US SOMETHING!

SOMETHING!

JUST ONE THING.

*

 **Professor Smut**  
to **Resh** , **J. S.** , **Alice B.**  
**Subject:** WHO THE FUCK IS THIS TWINK?  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 10:39 AM

I WILL TELL YOU NOTHING, BUT IF YOU CAN FIND ERIK’S TUMBLR (YES HE HAS ONE) YOU CAN HAVE THAT.

NOTHING ELSE.

MY SEX LIFE IS SACRED, NO MATTER WHAT FANDOM WANTS TO DO NOW.

-

 **Charles Xavier**  
to **Erik Lehnsherr**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 11:01 AM

Fangirls, in an effort to get them off my back, may be in search of your tumblr. 

Because they weren’t getting our sex life. THEY WEREN’T!

*

 **Erik Lehnsherr**  
to **Charles Xavier**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 1:31 PM

I’m sure they can find it if they want. I’d love to talk to the women who shaped your **Bent** experience before me.

But, that reminds me, I had a long time off this morning and I saw this on tumblr: Cherik?

It sounds like our names smushed together. Is this like BentSon, but with us? *wink*

*

 **Charles Xavier**  
to **Erik Lehnsherr**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 1:45 PM

Cherik is like BentSon, but don’t go down that rabbit hole. PLEASE?

Real Person Fiction is a beast I’m not ready to explain.

*

 **Erik Lehnsherr**  
to **Charles Xavier**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 1:53 PM

But, I like us as a couple. I want to see what people say? Will they write fic about us? We could critique it!

Wouldn’t that be fun?

I could make another tumblr about us. People would like that, right?

*

 **Charles Xavier**  
to **Erik Lehnsherr**  
**Subject:** Lord Help Me!  
**Date:** Mon, Feb. 3, 2015 1:54 PM

No, it won’t be fun.

You’re about to make me up and quit fandom. I can’t take reading what people think we do. I WON’T! OUR SEX LIFE, ERIK. OURS!

People might love it if you embraced the idea of shipping us, but Emma won’t be one of them. We don’t air our dirty laundry outside of press releases.

Now just drop this silly Cherik thing and focus on finishing filming.

Or you won’t get anything from me tonight. (I mean it!)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [redacted] for their help and beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own.
> 
> No fangirls were harmed in the making of this story. Any similarities between these OCs and real fangirls is meant with love and adoration.


End file.
